Why Feedback Matters
Most leaders avoid giving feedback, especially when it's critical. They worry about damaging relationships or demotivating people. But the opposite is true: lack of feedback is what damages relationships and performance.
People want to know where they stand. They want to improve. When you withhold feedback, you deny them the information they need to grow, and you let problems fester until they become crises.
The 4-Step Feedback Process
1
Preparation
Gather facts, define the goal, choose the right time and place
2
Delivery
Use "I" statements, focus on behavior, be specific
3
Discussion
Encourage dialogue, listen actively, seek their perspective
4
Follow-up
Set clear next steps, offer support, check progress
The SBI Model
Developed by the Center for Creative Leadership, the SBI model provides a simple structure for delivering clear, actionable feedback.
S - Situation
Describe the specific situation where the behavior occurred.
"In yesterday's client meeting..."
B - Behavior
Describe the observable behavior—what you saw or heard.
"...you interrupted the client three times while they were explaining their concerns..."
I - Impact
Explain the impact of that behavior on you, the team, or the outcome.
"...which made them visibly frustrated and may have damaged our relationship with them."
Why SBI Works
- Specific: Anchored to a real situation, not vague generalizations
- Objective: Focuses on observable behavior, not personality judgments
- Actionable: The person knows exactly what to change
- Non-threatening: Describes impact without attacking character
The 3 Ps Model (Alternative Framework)
Another effective approach, especially for developmental feedback:
- Praise: Start with genuine recognition of what's working well
- Problem: Clearly state the issue or area for improvement
- Path forward: Collaboratively discuss solutions and next steps
Note: Avoid the "feedback sandwich" (praise-criticism-praise) which can feel manipulative. Instead, be direct about the purpose of the conversation.
General Feedback Tips
Timing
- Be timely: Give feedback soon after the event while it's fresh
- Choose the right moment: Not when emotions are high or in front of others
- Make it regular: Don't save everything for annual reviews
Delivery
- Be specific: "You were late to three meetings this week" not "You're always late"
- Focus on behavior, not personality: "The report had errors" not "You're careless"
- Own your perspective: "I noticed..." or "My observation is..." not "Everyone thinks..."
- Be direct: Don't bury the message in qualifiers and softeners
Mindset
- Come from care: Your goal is to help them succeed, not to criticize
- Be curious: You may not have the full picture—ask questions
- Focus on the future: What can be done differently going forward?
The 5:1 Feedback Ratio
Research by psychologist John Gottman found that high-performing teams have a ratio of approximately 5 positive interactions for every 1 negative interaction.
This doesn't mean: Sandwich every criticism between compliments
It does mean: Regularly acknowledge good work, not just problems. If the only time you give feedback is when something's wrong, you're creating a fear-based culture.
Feedback Scripts
For Developmental Feedback
- "I want to share some observations that I think could help you grow..."
- "Can I give you some feedback on [specific situation]?"
- "I noticed [behavior]. Can you help me understand what was happening?"
For Positive Feedback
- "I wanted to recognize how you handled [situation]. Specifically, [behavior] really made a difference because [impact]."
- "The way you [specific action] was exactly what we needed. It resulted in [outcome]."
For Difficult Feedback
- "This is hard for me to say, but I care about your success, so I need to be honest..."
- "I've noticed a pattern that concerns me, and I want to address it directly..."
Common Feedback Mistakes
- Being vague: "You need to be more professional" (What does that mean?)
- Making it personal: "You're lazy" vs. "The deadline was missed"
- Public criticism: Praise in public, criticize in private
- Delayed feedback: Addressing something months after it happened
- No follow-up: Giving feedback and never checking if it landed
- Only negative: Only speaking up when something's wrong
- Assuming intent: "You obviously don't care" vs. asking what happened
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Key Takeaway
Feedback should be a continuous loop, not a one-time event. Regular, timely feedback builds trust and drives improvement. The goal is growth, not criticism. When you care about someone's success, you owe them honest feedback, even when it's uncomfortable to give.
📚 Further Reading
- "Radical Candor" by Kim Scott - A framework for caring personally while challenging directly.
- "Thanks for the Feedback" by Douglas Stone and Sheila Heen - Understanding feedback from the receiver's perspective.
- "The Feedback Imperative" by Anna Carroll - How to give feedback that sticks.
- "Crucial Conversations" by Patterson, Grenny, McMillan, and Switzler - Tools for high-stakes discussions.
- Center for Creative Leadership resources on the SBI model.
