5 Techniques Every Founder Needs to Know
Principled Negotiation Framework
Conflict is inevitable in any organization. How you handle it determines whether it becomes destructive or a catalyst for growth and innovation.
Most founders wait too long to address conflict, hoping it will resolve itself. It rarely does. Unaddressed conflict festers, damages relationships, reduces productivity, and can destroy teams and companies.
Research shows that managers spend approximately 25-40% of their time dealing with workplace conflict. Learning to handle it effectively isn't optional, it's a core leadership skill.
Based on the Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument, there are five primary approaches to handling conflict. Each has its place depending on the situation.
When to use: When both parties' concerns are too important to compromise, and you have time to work through the issue.
Approach: Work together to find a solution that fully satisfies everyone's needs.
Best for: Important issues, building relationships, finding creative solutions.
When to use: When time is limited and both parties are willing to give something up.
Approach: Find a middle ground where each party gives up something.
Best for: Moderately important issues, temporary solutions, equal power situations.
When to use: When the issue matters more to the other person, or preserving the relationship is more important than winning.
Approach: Put the other party's needs above your own.
Best for: Building goodwill, when you're wrong, when the issue is minor to you.
When to use: When quick, decisive action is needed, or on important issues where you know you're right.
Approach: Pursue your position firmly, even at the other's expense.
Best for: Emergencies, protecting yourself, enforcing unpopular but necessary decisions.
When to use: When the issue is trivial, emotions are too high, or you need more information.
Approach: Sidestep or postpone the conflict.
Best for: Cooling down periods, trivial issues, when others can resolve it better.
⚠️ Warning: Overusing avoidance is the most common leadership mistake. Don't confuse avoiding with hoping it goes away.
One of the most powerful concepts from the Harvard Negotiation Project:
"I need a bigger office."
"I want a 20% raise."
"We must launch by March."
Positions are often rigid and create win-lose dynamics.
"I need privacy for client calls."
"I want to feel valued and fairly compensated."
"We need to beat the competitor to market."
Interests reveal underlying needs that can be met in multiple ways.
The key insight: Focus on interests, not positions. When you understand WHY someone wants something, you can often find creative solutions that satisfy everyone's underlying needs.
Focus on interests, not positions. Separate people from the problem. The goal is to find a solution that addresses underlying needs, not to "win" the argument. Conflict handled well can strengthen relationships and lead to better outcomes than if the conflict never occurred.
