7 Questions Leaders Can Use to Coach Their Teams
"The Coaching Habit: Say Less, Ask More & Change the Way You Lead Forever" (2016)
Michael Bungay Stanier is the founder of Box of Crayons, a company that has trained thousands of managers to be more coach-like. His approach emphasizes staying curious longer and rushing to advice-giving more slowly.
Most managers default to giving advice. Someone comes to you with a problem, and you immediately jump to solutions. But this creates dependency, your team keeps coming back because you've trained them that you'll solve their problems. The alternative? Ask questions that help them think for themselves.
These questions form a complete coaching conversation that can happen in as little as 10 minutes. Each question serves a specific purpose in helping your team member think through their challenge.
"What's on your mind?"
Opens the conversation and lets them set the agenda. It's open enough to allow anything, but focused enough to start a real conversation.
"And what else?"
The best coaching question in the world. The first answer is rarely the only answer or even the best answer. This question creates more options and deeper thinking.
"What's the real challenge here for you?"
Cuts through the noise to find the actual issue. The first problem presented is often not the real problem. This question helps identify what really matters.
"What do you want?"
Gets to the heart of what they're trying to achieve. People often focus on what they don't want. This question redirects to positive outcomes.
"How can I help?"
Forces them to make a clear request. It stops you from assuming what they need and prevents you from taking on work that isn't yours to do.
"If you're saying yes to this, what are you saying no to?"
Creates awareness of trade-offs. Every yes is a no to something else. This question builds strategic thinking and prevents overcommitment.
"What was most useful or valuable here for you?"
Closes the conversation with reflection. It helps them extract the key insight and makes the conversation memorable. It also gives you feedback on what worked.
You don't need to use all seven questions in every conversation. Think of them as a toolkit. Start with "What's on your mind?" and use the others as needed. The most powerful one to remember is "And what else?", use it at least three times before moving on.
Your instinct will be to jump in with solutions. Resist it. Stay curious longer. Ask "And what else?" one more time. The goal is to help them think, not to show how smart you are.
You: "What's on your mind?"
Them: "I'm struggling with the project timeline..."
You: "And what else?"
Them: "Well, the client keeps changing requirements..."
You: "And what else?"
Them: "I guess I'm also worried about letting the team down..."
You: "What's the real challenge here for you?"
Them: "I think it's that I don't know how to push back on the client."
You: "What do you want?"
Them: "I want to have a conversation that sets better boundaries."
You: "How can I help?"
Them: "Could you role-play the conversation with me?"
You: "Absolutely. And what was most useful here for you?"
Them: "Realizing that the real issue isn't the timeline—it's my fear of the conversation."
Say less, ask more. The best coaching happens when you help people think for themselves rather than telling them what to do. These seven questions give you a framework to have powerful coaching conversations in just 10 minutes.
